BEWARE! BEWARE!

Facebook is at risk! Your computer is at risk! You are at risk! Your face is at risk!

This is a super-legitimate threat! How do I know? Because I was personally contacted by FBC (Federal Bureau of Computers) this morning! Don't ignore this note. Don't delete it! It will save your computer, your marriage, and even your life!

If you get a friend request from someone called killthe_mofos@hotmail.com do not, I repeat DO NOT accept their request. Your computer will become immediately infected! This is a problem that has been sweeping across the Iraq and other Asian countries. The computer hacker behind this has been stealing computer ID addresses from computers and then using that information to manually hack into your home computer without any problems. What's worse, the hacker then uses the Google satellite (which he has hacked because Google accepted his friend request too) to send a high-powered tractor beam to suck your computer right out of your office, den, or even your basement bedroom! Once he has your computer, he will find you at home, tie you up, and force you to watch Cher music videos until your eyes bleed!!

Facebook can't stop him because they too accepted his friend request. CNN can't run a story on the news for the same reason. However, they have both contacted me to spread the news! This is a legitimate facebook note! It is super important that you listen.

For the love of God and all little fluffy animals, please forward this super-important security message to all your friends and family. Facebook, Bill Gates, and certain African leaders are so concerned about this problem that they have offered $34.50 for anyone who forwards this to all their friends. Even if you hate someone (e.g., they killed your family), send this to them. If they are affected by this problem, they may reveal your identity, and then you too will no longer be safe.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, "I have a dream... that computers will be free from attack."

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THIS IS A PARODY. The above "threat" is not real. If you want to, send this on to people as a gentle reminder that most security warnings that circulate via email, etc. are F-A-K-E, fake! Check out the legitimacy of an email's claims before blindly spamming your innocent - yet often gullible - friends. This is not meant to be insulting...just amusing. ;-)

**I posted the above on facebook after receiving a couple of phony warnings of impending computer doom. I'm secretly hoping that this will circulate and possibly discourage people from forwarding "fear mail." However, I'm learning that fear spreads more readily than humor!